64 Problems, But A Man Ain't One

So, you've been particularly ignored lately. Tiny violin. In March, this is as natural as preceding April. But you are not to blame. Two words: NCAA Tournament. While you spent the last two weeks wondering what you've done wrong, top college teams have been scrambling to win their conference championships, vying for a top seed in the NCAA Tournament to ultimately become the NCAA Champion. Think of the process as no different from the progression a single gal takes to get to a marriage. You date a bunch of nonsense, get paired up with people you didn't expect to meet, you weed out the bad ones and try to make the right thing work. If you don't perform, game over. If you impress, you move to the next level, until finally, it's just you two looking to shine on that big day.

Now that we are all clear, here are some key dates:

• Sunday, the brackets with the 64 qualifying teams were released. They can be found online an any respectable sports site that you don't read. This is why we have it below. Tell us we don't have your back.
• Round One starts on Thursday and goes through Friday, followed by the Second Round on 3/20 and 3/21
• With the riffraff out of the way, the remaining teams are then considered the Sweet 16, which plays out on 3/25 and 3/26.
• From there, the Elite Eight play on 3/27 and 3/28.
• The Final Four happens on 4/3 in Indianapolis. If you even catch a glimpse of your man, you are among the Token Two.
• Then, finally, on 4/5, the Championship game is played and you get your man back--just in time to lose him to NBA playoffs.

Since you'll likely be picking your brackets according to nicest uniforms or cutest players, (and what other criteria is there, really?) we won't bore you with the stats to make educated guesses. Why do now what you don't do in dating? But for your own betterment, you should know the top seeds.

• Kansas is the number one seed over all.
• The remaining three are Kentucky, Duke and Syracuse.
• Kansas, Kentucky (Ashley Judd is a fan) and Duke all won their conference championships and Syracuse got the nod for their stellar play this year.

If you want to get really tricky with it on Monday, with a concerned and slightly bewildered look on your face, state, "I can't believe Virgina Tech wasn't selected." Then run or pretend to choke, because you won't be able to speak any further on the subject.

(Yours) in Brackets. Choose wisely my friends.